A really bad gift from your husband or boyfriend could be a sign that your relationship is headed for a cliff. But it could also mean that, like many men, your boyfriend or husband is just lousy at choosing the right gifts.

Let’s face some facts, you have probably received some pretty lousy gifts over the course of your life, many, if not all of them, were given to you by a male; be it a relative, friend or somebody you were having a relationship with.

Now, when you get married, this phenomenon does not go away, necessarily. You could marry the most wonderful, thoughtful man in the world and still wind up getting some pretty questionable gifts from him. Perhaps the thought was there, but the follow through failed.

To all you you men out there, here is some advice to follow.

Wrong Size

You have to give credit to the man who is brave enough to buy you clothes as a gift. Even if he sneaks into your closet and writes down your size, this isn’t always going to help as one designer’s large is the same size as another designer’s medium. You see, he is screwed no matter what.

The best you can do is smile if the gift is too small, smile if the gift is too big and then gently offer him some advice: “You can never go wrong buying crystal gifts.”

Utilitarian

One word to any man who has ever even considered buying a shower squeegee or vacuum cleaner as a gift for your girl: No.

A dustbuster might seem like a cool gift. It is colorful, compact and can clean up the toughest messes without having to drag out the Kirby, but it will also get you sent to the proverbial doghouse.

Any type of gift you can think of that holds a utilitarian purpose is not a gift. Anything designed to make a task easier, like cooking or cleaning, is not a proper gift. Play it safe and get her a beautiful crystal gift.

Mom?

You gave her a necklace for Christmas, that seems to be a pretty good choice. The problem is that you were so concerned with how it looked and the price that you picked up a necklace made for a woman with children. How did your girlfriend know this? Because under the pretty fake sparkly jewels are the words ‘Mom.”

Nice try. Next time, pay more attention to the details as opposed to buying something for its sparkly factor. A crystal gift is a good gift choice.

The Wrong Message

What does it say about your relationship when you get your girlfriend or wife a set of steak knives for a gift? What kind of message are you sending when you buy your girlfriend or wife a fake turquoise necklace that is sure to turn her neck green?

If the idea is to give her a gift that will force her to take a closer look at the relationship, then, by all means, buy her cutlery.

And then be sure to sleep with one eye open.